The night I saw Alexa Chung and got a twitchy leg.
Tonight I must face up to the facts. Sadly, I am not “cool, calm and collected” when it comes to celeb-spotting. I am in fact, one of those people who clam-up when faced with a minor or major celebrity. This means a) saying something downright weird b) hopping on one foot debating whether to ask for a photo or c) blatant lying: ‘can I have an autograph for my friend’s cousin’s sister’ d) trying to act so cool you lean on something that’s not there anymore and fall over sideways.
I must stress here that I am not socially awkward. In most social situations, be it planning a stressful event, or organising an important meeting for an major client or even back in the PR days of ringing influential journalists I would calmly get on with the task at hand. On the other the hand, give me a recognisable face from a magazine, in real daylight hours, and I turn to jelly. The type that has only been in the fridge for JUST enough time to solidify but is in that mid-way vulnerable state that could perhaps at any minute decide to turn right back into a liquid mess. I turn from having two solid legs, to not being able to make my knees hold me in place.
Tonight myself and two colleagues attended the InStyle charity auction in aid of the British Heart Foundation. It was a wonderful cause with lots of familiar faces betting on amazing clothes such as a dress donated by Rosie Huntington-Whitely and another gorgeous piece by Antonio Berardi. The list of fashionable goodies was endless. Everyone was dressed to impress (blinding passers by with Swarovski bling) and up for spending some serious moolah for a good cause.
Everytime I brushed past anyone even remotely recognisable from the mags I did one of those weird overkill smiles. Not sure why the crazed bog-eye look comes out in full force when you are really trying to go for a simple “hey,I’m normal I promise”. I even had a flap when recognising an ex-MIC cast member at the bar and attempted (and failed) to lock eyes from across the room.
Anyway, a fun night all in all, but really – am I only the one that has been recently diagnosed with cringe celebrity behaviour? Is being starstruck an actual thing or did Lady Gaga just sing about it once? Is it commonplace to have to reach for a paper bag when seeing a reality TV star? Or to dribble in public when seeing a real-life fashion model? Do I need help?
(Don’t answer that).
All thoughts appreciated.
“In love with Emma Gannon’s Ctrl Alt Delete. So funny & smart, and reminding me of some of my own cringe teen Internet exploits!”– Anna James, former literary editor of ELLE
"Funny, honest, and nostalgic!"– The Debrief
“Emma Gannon is a bright spark of light in the world. I seriously dig everything she makes”– Elizabeth Gilbert, bestselling author of Big Magic