June 20, 2012

HOW DARE YOU BE HAPPY

One of the reasons the whole Samantha Brick shitstorm interested me wasn’t because some random woman went viral overnight but because it actually had a lesson to learn underneath all of the palava. The learning was that although the interview was written in a way to make her look silly, the majority of readers clearly hated the fact that a woman was openly saying how beautiful she was and that she was really happy with the way she looked.

The reason this interested me was because I think this happens in general life. When someone asks you are how you are, it’s difficult to say ‘I’m really happy” especially when you get a niggly feeling that maybe they aren’t. When chatting to someone, you would hold back from saying ‘ACTUALLY I JUST GOT A MASSIVE COMPLIMENT EARLIER AND I’M FEELING REALLY SEXY’. Who would say that? They’d give you a raised eyebrow and they’d tell the next person who came along that you’re a bit of a douche. Because let’s face it, you would sound like one shouting about how totally amazing you feel. Basically, no one wants to hear it.

Isn’t that sad? That to remain socially accepted you have to hold back moments of joy and ‘GO ME!!’ moments?

I think it’s a real shame that we have to tone down our feelings when we want to celebrate. We get scared of celebrating our achievement, giving ourselves a pat on the back or saying ‘I’m awesome’. We hardly ever share really good news unless someone asks. Well, I think we should sharing positive things more and be happier for other people. Karma is an actual thing in the dictionary, and if you start being happy for others, good things come back to you.

So, let’s stop slapping our wrists before we tell someone that something great has happened. Let’s tell everyone. Hopefully soon people won’t see it as a bad thing.

  • Yeah, I work with someone who is incredibly negative and never happy with her life, and she makes me feel bad for being cheery and excited about things that are going on in my life. But I just stick with how I feel, even if it makes me sound douchy, because the worst thing in the world is being miserable and a crowd follower! Great post!

    Cheers.

  • Great post, this is very true. It’s a weird thing in society that we have to be so careful about openly saying we’re happy. But I think what pissed people off about Samantha Brick, and people who are generally very open about what they’re happy about in life, is the way they say it. I think there’s a difference between being able to honestly tell people when things are good, and just being an arrogant show-off (aka Brick). We should definitely stop saying “I’m fine” when we’re actually amazing, but we should be aware of the way we say it.

    N x

  • Thanks Nadia that’s also a really important point.Obviously being a show-off is pretty much everyone’s pet hate and won’t get you very far in keeping a good profile of yourself. There’s nothing worse that someone trying to make out they are better than you. I agree, we should start being able to comfortably saying things are going great, but in a genuine way that isn’t obnoxious πŸ™‚ thanks for commenting XX

  • I read something a few years ago (forgot where) that was basically about how it’s socially & psychologically easier to put something down, or relate negatively to something, than to say that you like it. If I say “I hate One Direction,” then, in a way, I’m putting myself above it, and not really making a defining statement about myself and my preferences. Saying, “I like (or essentially care about) One Direction,” on the other hand, is putting that thing on the same level as me, or even above me, and attaching it more closely to my identity. On Facebook we list things we “like” not things we “dislike”, and I’d be interested to see how people would use a “dislike” button if it was available. Not my most articulate response but maybe you get my point πŸ™‚

  • I think people need to re-examine what happiness means to them. I have met lots of people who want to attain ‘happiness’ at some point. Personally happiness is the natural state I feel that I am in, in varying degrees, sometimes more so and sometimes less. People actually think asking “what are you so happy about?” is a valid question, like how DARE I be happy when there’s a recession, global warming, terrorists…etc. Just because there is bad stuff going on doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate all the GOOD things also happening at the same time. I think telling someone excitedly how happy you are on a given day because you got a good appraisal, found that dress you were looking for, heard from a friend you hadn’t seen in a long time, or even finally managed to do a ‘proper’ push up is to be encouraged. I find joviality to be contagious, so maybe if people stop focusing so much on what they are ‘unhappy’ about they could learn to appreciate the tiny bits of happiness that come together and make up a giant ball of it. πŸ™‚

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