October 03, 2013

Reasons we should put our phones down (for at least minute)

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Hi, my name’s Emma and I have an iPhone addiction. Here are a few of my recent findings. I am learning the hard way:

1. You might fall down the stairs. Yes, this actually happened to me last night and I’ve got the egg-sized bruise on my knee to prove it. The lights were off and I was casually Whatsapping in the dark and decided to casually take the stairs, got about half way down and then stacked it. Do not be arrogant enough to think you can text a complex series of emoticons whilst guessing where the next step is. I have been hobbling around all day, and managed to nearly make the same mistake on the bus stairway (and they are much steeper). Put ya phone down: for your own safety if nothing else. 

2. Your boyfriend will get annoyed with you: If you’re anything like me you will want to tweet what you eat and itch every 5 seconds to photograph your beautiful meal and photograph a cheesy thumbs up, but your bf or gf WILL hate you for it. I am always told to put the thing down and to participate in polite conversation. You’re on a date, so act like it (starts with looking at the person opposite you in the eye a few times during the meal).

3. Nothing much will happen when you refresh: Nope, no ones tweeted you. Or liked your Instagram pics or posted you a message. Still nothing. If it beeps, or rings that might be a clue. You could leave it in your pocket for a minute.

4. You will drain your battery to 1%… and then you might actually need it: You will feel like an idiot if you kill your battery by looking at shitty articles on the Daily Mail and then realise you don’t have enough battery left to actually do something useful, like call your friend/colleague/estate agent/client back or ring 999.

5. You will actually SEE things: I realised recently that my bus ride to work takes a de-tour through one of my favourite streets in East London. Normally I’m checking work emails or looking at Twitter for the whole journey like a zombie on autopilot, when one day I forgot my phone and I saw so many amazing things as the bus whizzed up the road like some kids dancing in the street and a new undiscovered pub.

6. You might get headaches or dizziness: Apparently the new features of ios 7 is giving people vertigo and nausea (well these are some of the recent complaints). Cure? Put the f**cking thing down for a minute.

And before you have a go at me, yes I am guilty as charged.

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“In love with Emma Gannon’s Ctrl Alt Delete. So funny & smart, and reminding me of some of my own cringe teen Internet exploits!”

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