Dear Life, Please Let Us Sleep Some More, Love The Dreaded Millenials x
Sleep is our friend. Let us sleep.
Some “news” this week that was so SHOCKING that is made multiple global headlines was that Yahoo’s CEO Marissa Mayer turned up to a meeting two hours late because she had a “nap” (collective GASP). Ok, bit of a slapped wrist I’m sure, but come on, let’s get over it. Marissa Mayer is famous for being quite a straight-forward savvy business lady, but everyone makes mistakes. Even CEOs. Our bodies physically make us sleep if we are tired. But it didn’t stop there: model extraordinaire Cara Delevingne was also criticised for closing her eyelids prematurely this week too, being branded a lazy narcoleptic (paraphasing but hey ho) on a shoot with Vogue.
So naturally, I wanted to talk about the sleep thing a bit more. After all, sleep is my favourite topic and activity.
The article in Vogue sort of makes out that Cara Delevinge rocked up as a dishevelled mess, who just wanted to skip the “work” bit and go and get a nice massage half way through. A bit weird, yes, but come on, Cara hardly takes breaks by the looks of things. There was a time when I wanted to genuinely investigate into whether Cara had been cloned like Dolly the sheep. How can she been in so many shows, all at the same time? I wondered. How is this physically and scientifically possible?
Okay I admit it’s not best practice at work to ask to have a nice little back-rub in the middle of an important appointment, but that’s beside the point. Both these successful ladies were getting sleep-shamed. They were being told off and made to feel like failures just because they overdid it and “burnt the candle at both ends” as my Dad calls it.
(Side note: Apologies for those of you who want any word that ends in “shamed” dead and gone).
But seriously, can we just talk about sleep for a second please? Sleep is essential to living a good life. We ALL know, as much as we try and fight it, that we ALL function better off a good night’s sleep. We all know that tiredness is worse than a hangover, that tired kills, that tiredness makes you more honest and thus more likely to do something accidental at work or in life. Tiredness also makes us look like a total shit too. The code word for “fuck, you look AWFUL” is “you look tired” said with a British smile.
To anyone that’s ever told me “I look tired”, eff you. You might as well circle the dark bags under my eyes with permanent pen and slap me round the face. It is the worst thing to say to someone who is TRYING their hardest to have a good day.
I read “Thrive” By Arianna Huffington on my holiday in NYC a few weeks ago and she bangs on about sleep. The chapter is called “Sleep Your Way To The Top” (ooh saucy, Arianna) but she is totally spot on throughout and she actually gives some brilliant, tangible advice in the book on how to actually go the fuck to sleep. Without pissing around on your phone, iPhone, Kindle etc because “going to bed” is not the same as “going sleep”. You can tell the household you’re “going to bed” (ooh you’re off to bed early!) and actually mess around on Twitter until 4am (not so early).
Please, can we all just be a bit kinder to each other and ourselves. Let’s not get all snooty when someone is in dire need of a sleep and label them weak. Let’s not make some feel like shit because they went home early to sleep, or was a few minutes late for a meeting after working overtime. Let’s all get earlier nights and forget FOMO because FOMO isn’t real. Nothing that happens on Internet is THAT important that it can’t wait until the morning, and by then you’ll be a lot wittier, funnier, nicer and less dog-eared anyway.
“In love with Emma Gannon’s Ctrl Alt Delete. So funny & smart, and reminding me of some of my own cringe teen Internet exploits!”– Anna James, former literary editor of ELLE
"Funny, honest, and nostalgic!"– The Debrief
“Emma Gannon is a bright spark of light in the world. I seriously dig everything she makes”– Elizabeth Gilbert, bestselling author of Big Magic