February 11, 2015

Am I An Adult Now?

Screen shot 2015-02-10 at 23.46.29

On paper, I’m a total adult now.

A) I have moved in with my boyfriend

B) We have a dishwasher (albeit it’s still in the living room and needs to be picked up and replaced because it’s too big for the gap in the kitchen.)

C) We have a spare room.

The last two have specifically been my measure of whether or not I am in fact an adult yet. On paper, this is it. This is what teenage me would have wanted. I’ve got my one-way ticket to Adulthood and the train is just pulling in.

I’m quite enjoying doing the whole ‘nesting’ thing. Or should I say: watching my boyfriend get loads of stuff done and sigh at me because I am useless. I am not very good at sorting home-related things. We have to buy blinds for the windows. We need to yell at someone for the fact that the Internet installation is delayed. One of the things I have contributed to the house, however, are three mini-house plants that sit along the side of the large window leading onto the balcony that I picked from IKEA. I have also proudly scattered expensive candles in the bathroom (promptly following by “Emma, you can’t put candles on this wooden shelf”). Woops.

On Sunday night, my best friend came over for tea.

“What you upto?” she asked, taking a sip from her mug.
“I’m…. pretending to be an adult.” My voice wavered.

This is the thing: I am trying. Trying hard to be a grown-up, but the reality is that I am not. It’s a step away from my old room, my old habits; the one splattered with magazines, half-drunk cups of tea, a room that saw different people go in and out including ex-boyfriends and ex-friends. A room I’d pass out in having stayed out until 4am on a work night. Lonely Sundays and monstrous hangovers. It holds such good memories, and yet, memories that are now so cloudy in my head.

So I can officially say that I am kidding myself at pretending to have my shit together. Because I made a list, and you can see which list is longer.

 Things That Make Me Feel Like An Adult

  • I have a passport holder
  • I work hard at a job I love
  • Our bed is in the middle of room with side tables on each side
  • I live with another person who I love
  • I have 3 mini-house plants

Things That Don’t Make Me Feel Like An Adult

  • I put off doing the laundry until I’m down to one pair of pants
  • I leave packing to the last minute
  • I cannot read a map
  • I’m not very good at using vouchers
  • I rarely make any decision (big or small) without asking my dad’s opinion first
  • I still can’t cook very well
  • I leave mouldy receipts in my bag
  • I spend money on stupid things like smoothies that I could make myself
  • The fruit bowl is never fully stocked
  • I once went 4 months without a lightbulb in my room
  • I never write down important things so I aways have to dig through emails
  • I’m REALLY bad at early mornings
  • I leave forget my Oyster card a lot
  • I can’t leave voicemails
  • I still get really emotional when I go home to my parents house
  • I have a teddy bear called Henry
  • I rarely iron my clothes


4 Responses

  1. I love how being an adult means so many different things to so many people!
    You have inspired me to create my own list – I’ll tweet it to you when it’s live (and yes, I am completely just assuming that you’ll be incredibly interested to see it).

  2. Sally says:

    At 31 (having officially spent 13 years as an adult), I can promise you that you will never, ever feel like you’ve got your shit together. Not now, not at 30, and certainly not at 50 or 60. But I think that’s half the fun. Our childish traits – our spontaneity, silliness, scattiness and constant ability to learn – is what adds the sparkle to adulthood. I spent years trying to be an adult, and now I find myself desperately trying to cling to my youth. I say let the pendulum swing both ways and bloody enjoy it 🙂

  3. Frankie Lee says:

    Great post. I feel your pain – it doesn’t matter how old we get, old habits die hard. I can’t remember the last time I picked up the iron :S Frankie x

  4. Federica says:

    It’s ironic that most of the things that don’t make you feel like an adult, make me feel like an adult.

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