February 20, 2016

Wearing What I Want

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I have a confession.

I don’t care about being ~in fashion~.

I have a shitty looking tote bag that I use most days.

But hey, it’s okay. It’s okay as you grow older to have a tick box of things you’re quite happy to unsubscribe from caring about. And with ZERO judgement for those people who DO like it. I have lots of good friends who love and work in the fashion industry. I see their passion for it, and how hard they work and how excited clothes makes them. And they totally respect that I don’t follow it very closely at all, and if we go shopping together I’ll be that person who spends two hours in one second hand shop while they go off exploring elsewhere.

Because that’s the thing: I care immensely about styling something up or trying something a bit different. But if anyone ever asked me the label, I’d just shrug.

In my opinion, barking at someone asking “WHO are you wearing?” still makes me think of someone carrying a person on their back.

(Although I gotta say: I’m into Rachel Antonoff in a BIG WAY because she has the coolest illustrations on her shirt collars.)

Basically, I can’t be doing with the stress of keeping up. What’s IN? What’s NOT IN? HOW DO I REMAIN “IN”?

My solution: never be “in”.

I’ve been at parties where I’ve been treated like a no-one just because I’m not wearing the “hippest” new label. Photographers have literally curled their lip at me in disgust before because I’d DARED TO WEAR an old H&M dress.

I went along to the W Hotel last year with a friend who had an invite to one of the ~Cool Parties~ in Leicester Sq. We were a few minutes late because we’d been too busy talking and catching up at a tapas place over the road, and the queue was mental. I recognised five celebrities in the queue, including a very well-known Instagram face. They weren’t letting anyone else in. I saw a PR lady screaming at a bouncer because a member of a girl band (I won’t say who) wasn’t wearing a coat and was freezing her tits off in the queue and was embarrassed, because there were paparazzi around watching her. I felt so grossed out by the whole experience. Guest-lists, cold weather, queues, people crying and getting angry. I just start dreaming of Netflix and Wine.

This spark of “!!!! it’s OK if I don’t care about wearing the LATEST STUFF!!!” was inspired by the babe of all babes Anne T Donahue’s newsletter, which you should subscribe to asap:

“And I hate camping. And 65% of all parties. And beaches. (Not the movie.) I hate restaurants whose dinner portions look like they’re appropriate for an ant or maybe an ant’s child. I hate sleeping on a friend’s couch vs. going home to sleep in my own bed. I hate “dating.”‘

Her amazing newsletter was full of things she’d just manned up and admitted to not liking anymore. It’s okay to change your mind and admit “actually this isn’t very me” and to just consciously uncouple from a few things in your life. Trying to be cool and fashionable was one of those things for me. I sort of regret spending so much money in the past trying to fit in because I never really loved the clothes anyway.


But. Even though my eyes glaze over at the sight of a catwalk show, I place a lot of importance on the below list of things:

* Experimenting: I definitely want to be bolder with what I wear. I want my clothes to help me take more space, not less.

* Lifestyle over just clothes: I follow so many stylish people because I like being inspired by a person in full, not just what they look like.

* People: I like following people who don’t take fashion seriously. Iris Apfel for example uses clothes as an extension of her personality. Into it.

* Self-expression. I LOVE picking out my clothes in the morning asking “who am I going to be today?” Changing things up and trying new things whenever I feel like it.

* Feeling good: Wearing stuff that makes you feel like you can go and have A REALLY GOOD DAY. THE END.

The stripped polo neck and NYC tee are both from PLT.com

5 Responses

  1. nikkiana says:

    This made me think of a conversation I had the other day with a friend of mine about the difference between having style and being in fashion. Fashion comes and goes, it’s controlled by the ebb and flow of an industry, and depending on what’s popular at the moment, might not even be suitable for everybody. Style is a lot more personal than that. It’s all about your personal preferences, what YOU like rather than what’s popular at the moment.

  2. Yup that’s me, I am not into fashion. I barely can stand being in a store for long periods of time. I do have my occasionally names I know and when they come out with something and I happened to be in the store that day it’s all mine. However, I am usually the girl who just want to look decent whatever that means. And I rather have someone else shop for me.

  3. Miss.P says:

    Such a great post, more often than not when clothing is worn with confidence, no matter what it is, it is viewed with a different look, sometimes a look of intrigue, appreciation and admiration.

  4. I love this! Definitely something I agree with, I’m never ‘In’ but I just like wearing what I enjoy and what I feel happy in!

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